In my world, so many successes are traced back to “I need your help!”

It sounds so simple and yet today these words are still not used much. Why not?

Most of us were raised with the idea that helping others is what makes us different! We all know someone who is struggling, someone who is hurting, or someone who is overwhelmed with all that life throws at you over time. We see it every day at work or at home.

Every article, blog or story discusses the power of helping someone. We are a society that prides itself on helping others who have fallen or need some help. We listen, we reach in our pockets, we volunteer, or we extend a helping hand. We see how it helps someone, how it helps families, or how it helps cities and towns ravished by storms. We feel good when we help someone – it is the ultimate driver in making a difference, in helping to build or rebuild value. We like to help!!

But……how many of us who like to help others have actually asked others for help? Surprisingly, not very many. Why? Our pride gets in the way! We don’t want to show weakness, we don’t want to impose, or we don’t like to bother someone. We don’t like to admit that we need help!

When we first started our business 30 years ago, we used to teach people to network and how to find a job after they lost a job. We told them to reach out to their network and ask for their help in introducing them to others. Those who listened and acted upon that advice landed good jobs.

I was great in giving advice, but not so great in following my own advice. For example, after one frustrating day trying to open doors to introduce our company to other companies in the region – without any success – I called someone who I had helped land a new job. I wanted to check in with him and see how he was doing.

We had lunch. He said he was doing great, the job was terrific, his co-workers were outstanding and work was rewarding. He was on top of the world. He could tell, however, that I was struggling and unsure, and he asked me why. I told him it was hard trying to get decision makers to meet with me. They were too busy or not responsive or clearly had no interest. The guy I had helped listened and then asked me the question I still remember today: “Joe, your advice to me was spot on. You taught me how to overcome my reluctance and ask for help. I don’t understand why it is not working for you.”

The light-bulb came on in my thick brain. I had not been asking for help, I was asking for appointments or for sales, but not following my own advice and asking everyone for help! While I did not say anything, my friend could immediately see that he struck a chord. He slapped me on the head and asked “Joe, you are asking for help, aren’t you?” When I shook my head no, he responded “What is the matter with you? Your advice works and yet you don’t follow your own advice?”

That afternoon, I went back to the office truly energized! I knew it would work…and it did!

Every letter I wrote (this was before email), every voice mail I left, every message I delivered to decision makers and others who supported decision makers started off with “Hi, my name is Joe Dougherty and I need your help!”

I asked for help with advice, I asked for help with a quick 15-30 minute meeting, I asked for help with referrals, and I asked for help with introductions. I turned myself into a “I need your help” machine!

It wasn’t easy at first. It was hard to accept the fact that I needed help, that I could not do it by myself, but the more I used those 4 powerful words, the easier it became.

I remember putting a picture of my 3 young sons in front of the phone as a motivator. These 3 kids seemed to think I would provide for them so they could have dinner every night!

You know the rest of the story. It worked. People liked to help me and since I led with that message “I need your help,” they helped!

One appointment led to three, led to 10, then led to hundreds. Our client base increased from a couple of corporate clients to over 3,400 corporate clients today!

I learned to close out my “I need your help” requests with a powerful “I promise to return the favor someday.” It worked and still does.

I love helping others as best I can. It sure does feel good when you can truly help someone out! But I also feel no reluctance now to ask for help. It works – try it! I bet that it will work for you as well – no matter what you are asking for!